On Femininity, Performance & Womanhood with Tolu Agbelusi | Locating Strongwoman
Locating Strongwoman is a collection of poems that paint a raw, intimate portrait of unperformed femininity and navigating womanhood. In celebration of its fifth anniversary, we sat down with author Tolu Agbelusi for a conversation about the themes that shape her work, from mother-daughter relationships to self-love and reclamation, as we reflect on where Locating Strongwoman sits within the political and cultural landscape of the world today…
1. The cover of Locating Strongwoman features an iconic image from Carrie Mae Weem’s Kitchen Table Series. What drew you to this image as the face of your collection?
I had written a poem based on that particular picture which is the title poem of the book. It was a picture that spoke to mothers and daughters, to becoming, and to the many ways we learn to exist in this world. Considering the photo alongside the collection, I was also drawn to the fact that the mirrors stood not just as reflective objects but also gateways into the self. At its core that is what this book is—a gateway into self exploration—who we are as women, the process of becoming, how we rent who we are told to be, from who we really are and what strength looks like in all those seasons.
2. The poems in this collection paint a very raw and real picture of navigating the world as a heterosexual woman, touching on themes such as abusive relationships and sexual assault. Today, there’s a growing online movement of women reconsidering heterosexual relationship dynamics, from the 4B movement to broader conversations around emotional labour. Have these discussions shaped how you think about the relationships depicted in your work?
I would say this is a collection about navigating the world as a woman irrespective of sexuality. These poems are reflections of things that have affected me directly or indirectly as I've travelled through the world and worked in the justice sector. In that respect, they don’t draw from any engagement with the 4B movement or other recent online discussions though of course nothing is new. Because we are all, male and female socialised in the same system, we all capable of replicating the same problematic behaviours. I have seen domestic violence in both hetero and same sex relationships and whilst it may be easy to simply say the latter are replicating heterosexual norms or standards when that happen, I think there is a more nuanced conversation about the fact that human beings, no matter the sex, gender or sexuality can be and do cruel things. The thing that provokes change is always a willingness to unravel what we take as ‘the given’ so that we can see what’s true and what’s just conditioning – what is you and what is a hand me down that needs to go? In that respect, Locating Strongwoman is a call to introspection and to question what you think you know.
3. Another theme that’s prevalent throughout the collection is the performance of femininity passed down through generations, and the subtle ways girls learn to move through the world. What prompted this exploration, and how do you see this performance influencing identity and womanhood?
I am a woman living in a world that rewards performance and the act of daily living reminds me that I don’t have energy for most of that performativity. I want freedom and joy as myself and nothing but, and knowing that I’m not alone in that keeps this theme an obsession. Performing femininity definitely has its gifts—in the way that not shaking the status quo can reward you with a ready identity, community, open doors, etc but I’m always interested in what we sacrifice to fit and whether it’s worth it.
4. How much of your own lived experiences shaped this collection, and how has feminism, in all its forms, shaped your artistic voice?
I believe in poetry that is true on the level of emotion which means everything I write comes out of something that has affected me. This is not to say it happened in my life, as others, wiser than me have said, poetry is fiction and we must always remember that even when it is based on a real experience. Everything I write comes from the abundance of my life whether it’s something I have lived, witnessed or been touched by even if that is through literature or film. In that way the stories are always true, with many persons captured in every I and many mothers in every mother. In so far as feminism stands as a reclamation of self and womanhood as an equal, self determinative human being, it shapes my artistic voice and my drive to ensure that people re-engage with their power and capacity instead of accepting the limits society imposes. I’m interested in how we redefine language for ourselves and poetry and the rest of the arts I dabble in reflect this quest.
5. The collection also holds moments of self-love and reclamation - what does it mean to you to grow into yourself as a woman?
It means I have taken and continue to take the time to learn myself and to know which parts of how I present, are a reflection of something underlying which should be unlearned and at the same time which things are very much me even though out of place with the world around me. It’s coming to terms with who I actually am and being content with it without needing outside validation. It’s also about walking in purpose and defining what that is for myself.
Locating Strongwoman is available to purchase at jacarandabooks.co.uk, bookshop.org and everywhere books are sold.